oh the irony of what I just read
Anonymous asked: WHERE ARE YOUR POEMS
I will write.
because I’m short a lot of things lately, like friends, and minutes in a day, and tapioca. I find that I’m short tapioca a lot lately. I will write because there’s a sweet boy who says he likes to read what I write, and one reader is all I really need. I will write because I’m probably seeping creative juices and by leaking so much it is making me grumpy. I write...
things my teen years have taught me.
hurrah! I’m 20. still feels like eons away from 21, &I still have a ton to learn, but here’s what I’ve acquired from ages 13-19. this is the time to crash. if you’re gna total your car from a tire blowout in the middle of nowhere, now’s the time to do it. not that you should ever get into a car crash intentionally, if there’s anytime that people will...
in all my boringness staying home having panini parties looking forward to watching Quentin Tarantino movies on Netflix or being terribly excited to go out and have oysters. THAT’s my partying. my “wild” night out. and I have no intention of changing anytime soon.
diving into my journal.
write write write. oh inspiration where’d you go?
love, is a losing game
it’s more than just sad, let me explain this. it’s like trying to run underwater, when your legs are fighting but you can barely move at normal pace. it’s bearable on most days, but sometimes you get tired &just stop. dead in your tracks you stop &dont move bc a lot of times not moving, not being, feels better than fighting. fighting yourself gets so old after a while,...
I hate feeling this low..
low low low… someone tell me what normal feels like again…
I trust you.
I trust you. I trust you. I trust you. why does that never seem like enough?
you're the sweetest kiss I've ever known.
you’re a pilot jones. pilot jones.. pilot jones..
pink matter. blue matter. please matter. do I?
or do you not think so far ahead?
can you imagine, making your whole career, your success and money, off of your own pain and heartache? I swear I will always get chills when frank ocean performs anything live. I just feel like he’s continuously performing thinking about you, and how do you not think about that person, how do you keep your heart from aching every single time you sing it. or worse, how do you embrace that...
food for thought
“Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love… true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that....
haven't blogged in a bit
how many times have I used that title though? life is there. so is school, and work, and the bills, and that cute boy who says good night and good morning to me everyday. things are… fine. I still get scared shitless. I still go crazy and over think things. and I still appreciate this beautiful broken but functioning life I’ve been given. I will not complain, instead, I’ll...
there will be people who think you’re ugly.. they’ll think you’re stupid, and chances are most of them won’t understand you. but then you’ll find someone who looks at you like the sun shines out of your ass. someone who for some reason will tolerate things about yourself your mother won’t even put up with. and THAT person.. well.. you better not let them...
I need to write down my thoughts more often
but I think that I’m scared that if I put them down on paper, that gives them license to be real and they’ll end up just haunting me later.
c'est la vie.
it seems stupid to me now, naive almost, thinking that I used to believe one thing could make me infinitely happy. I was under this impression that if I could get that one thing I was missing, everything else would fall into place. oh how stupid that thought feels now. it was never anything specific, more like waiting for my license, being excited for the age I could get a job and feel...
I can’t even say what I want to say anymore. I miss you. I hate sleeping alone. my feelings scare me. please don’t leave me.
perhaps these are just drug ridden thoughts, or maybe I’ll delete this tmw, just gonna keep typing I guess. I’m falling so hard, so quickly. sure footed me hates the rush, I’m on a nice level ground of stability, but I’ve yet to be told anything that secures safety. but it’s pure euphoria. being with you, I mean. if I weren’t so careful, or it were...
“you been thinkin bout forever?” (: knowing your voice is the last thing I hear before I go to bed is why I don’t play music after we get off the phone.
I want to bury all my fears into the ground, cover...
trying to decipher what’s too soon &what’s too late, while still trying to go with the flow. enjoying more than trippin. excited more than scared. good. shit.
Now what we came here to do It means more to me than just a night That we share So make sure that you’re prepared Baby and know that love is not just something to do It’s the moment that transcends Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding And who knows Somehow this night Just might lead us into a place Where our emotions can grow if we let them go Cause who knows What...
old things I found rummaging through an old me.
I’m not crazy. I promise I won’t blow up your phone with millions of phone calls or text messages… unless I think you’re dying or I bought a new shirt. I admit I get a little jealous, but I promise the minute we start kissing I’ll drop it. I’ll do whatever I can to make your mom like me. I can’t promise forever but however long you want me; I’m...
I can't promise forever, but however long you want...
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you...– Pablo Neruda
I don't read nearly as much as I'd like to
I spent the last week maybe week and a half burning through the Hunger Games books, takes me back to when I was consumed by Twilight. you know what I love about books though? they’re nothing like movies. with movies, all the good ones are on the front lines and making big bucks in box office sales. with books, the good ones are tucked away on shelves, waiting to be opened. books do not...
I’m convinced things aren’t meant to work out in my favor, I’m okay with that. I’m going to work on being a better person, getting a better handle on my emotions, and being better at being alone. in essence; loving myself. maybe I said this already &didn’t follow through, I’m not promising that I’ll do it no matter what, but I’m hoping by...
for all you heartbroken kids who have a taste for...
if things don’t work out, if either of us decide this isn’t what we want, I’m sorry but I don’t want to be friends. I don’t hate you, &it doesn’t hurt, I just don’t want that. I have amazing ass friends &the free time I do have will be spent with them. if you were looking to recruit another “girl best friend” find someone else, ...
my rocks.. my pillars.. my everything's.
JR / HF / NU / JF / LV / TS
I hate when my blog is full of just pictures, but that’s how it’s been lately. I deleted a bunch of posts that I’d feel better forgetting about, there’s not much to say when I’m avoiding my feelings. I don’t want to go off telling you about what I did today or my plans, because why would you care? I don’t. aside from last night; I’ve been...
Anonymous asked: Are you going to "The Beatles: The Lost Concert" movie premier in a few weeks?
I don’t believe I could ever love somebody if the feelings weren’t mutual. that simply isn’t an option for me.