paperjam

Who Knows?

old things I found rummaging through an old me.

I’m not crazy. I promise I won’t blow up your phone with millions of phone calls or text messages… unless I think you’re dying or I bought a new shirt. I admit I get a little jealous, but I promise the minute we start kissing I’ll drop it. I’ll do whatever I can to make your mom like me. I can’t promise forever but however long you want me; I’m yours. I’ll record your favorite shows on my dvr so when you come over, you don’t have to wait for commercials. I’ll nap next to you, even if my couches are leather &it’s screaming hot. I don’t sing very well, so I’ll play guitar while you play drums on rockband then we can switch at the chorus. however, you have to kill all the spiders… &you have to promise me you’ll tell me when you’re mad. don’t forget our anniversary &I won’t forget what you order from jack in the box when I surprise you with it. if you talk, I’ll listen, and I expect the same in return. I don’t mind driving, just as long as you’re holding my hand. I’m going to tweet about you, bc that’s as close as I’ll get to shouting your name on a mountain top. I promise not to tell anyone if I catch you crying (or w/ something in your eye). and also, I promise I won’t lie.. mostly bc I’m not good at it, however I don’t like doing it either. I want to meet your friends &I’ll try my best to make them like me. when we’re all alone I’ll trace “I love you” on your arm &you better say it back… when you’re ready of course. I promise to support you; clown college or princeton, I’ll hold your rubber nose if I have to. I’ll sing to you when no one’s listening. I’ll leave you voicemails if you don’t pick up &say cutesie things in them and I’ll leave notes on your windshield for you to discover later. I’m not always going to be right, but I will say that I am, and correct me when necessary. tell me when to shut up, because sometimes I need that.  I can be irrational. I yell, sometimes I throw things, and when things get really bad, I cry. I overreact &I can be sarcastic as hell; but.. if you’re in, I’m in. &at the least I can promise I’ll be here when you need me.

I can’t promise forever, but however long you want me, I’m yours.

I don’t read nearly as much as I’d like to

I spent the last week maybe week and a half burning through the Hunger Games books, takes me back to when I was consumed by Twilight.

you know what I love about books though? they’re nothing like movies. with movies, all the good ones are on the front lines and making big bucks in box office sales. with books, the good ones are tucked away on shelves, waiting to be opened. books do not require loud speakers or 3D glasses. you do not need to sit in a theatre or in front of a huge machine to enjoy a book, all you need are eyes and some imagination. 

and maybe people get bored sitting down with a book, but really, do you have ADD that you cannot sit still and appreciate the composition of good words?

stop and smell the pages. 

I’m convinced things aren’t meant to work out in my favor, I’m okay with that.
I’m going to work on being a better person, getting a better handle on my emotions, and being better at being alone. in essence; loving myself.

maybe I said this already &didn’t follow through, I’m not promising that I’ll do it no matter what, but I’m hoping by typing it out and releasing it out into the world, I’ll have a better chance.

love is everywhere, harness it.
that’s all for tonight folks. toodles mcnoodles.

mes copains

if things don’t work out, if either of us decide this isn’t what we want, I’m sorry but I don’t want to be friends. I don’t hate you, &it doesn’t hurt, I just don’t want that. 

I have amazing ass friends &the free time I do have will be spent with them. 

if you were looking to recruit another “girl best friend” find someone else, 

I’m playing for keeps. 

my rocks.. my pillars.. my everything’s.

JR / HF / NU / JF / LV / TS

meooow.

I hate when my blog is full of just pictures, but that’s how it’s been lately. I deleted a bunch of posts that I’d feel better forgetting about, there’s not much to say when I’m avoiding my feelings. 

I don’t want to go off telling you about what I did today or my plans, because why would you care? I don’t. 

aside from last night; I’ve been feeling relatively good. 

I think I’m going to shower and get ready to do something, anything!

however I’ll probably sit here and troll a little bit longer (:

Anonymous asked: Are you going to "The Beatles: The Lost Concert" movie premier in a few weeks?

no? why would I?

dude is this forreal?

pride rock

I don’t believe I could ever love somebody if the feelings weren’t mutual. that simply isn’t an option for me.